Talia, The Queen's Own (
thequeensown) wrote2011-08-31 03:03 pm
Entry tags:
7th Sending [Commentlog]
[It's with a start that the Keep empath wakes once more in her room, but unfortunately since her untimely death she has no idea where or whom she is.
She rises from her bed, breath coming quick and raggedly as confusion fills her mind.
It would be far too simple for her to remain in the room alone until someone came to her, but things never work that easily, do they?
She steps from her room and physically cringes back against the stone wall as the Keep flares to life in a whole different way. Her hand goes to her forehead as emotions from all around suddenly hammer into her mind at the same moment.
She had no idea what was happening, but this was more than enough to spark fear into her own thoughts. She stumbles away from her room, leaving behind her journal, as she seeks only for a way out and silence for her mind .. too bad she's not going to find things that easy.]
((ooc: And so begins the stumbling wanderings of Talia. Feel free to run into her ANYWHERE around or in the Keep.))
She rises from her bed, breath coming quick and raggedly as confusion fills her mind.
It would be far too simple for her to remain in the room alone until someone came to her, but things never work that easily, do they?
She steps from her room and physically cringes back against the stone wall as the Keep flares to life in a whole different way. Her hand goes to her forehead as emotions from all around suddenly hammer into her mind at the same moment.
She had no idea what was happening, but this was more than enough to spark fear into her own thoughts. She stumbles away from her room, leaving behind her journal, as she seeks only for a way out and silence for her mind .. too bad she's not going to find things that easy.]
((ooc: And so begins the stumbling wanderings of Talia. Feel free to run into her ANYWHERE around or in the Keep.))

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[A little ways ahead of her, Talia will see a little Satyros, with her hands clamped over her ears.]
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And now there was a strange little not human standing in front of her and Talia's own headache is easily supplanting poor Aht's.]
I-I .. I don't ..[Have a soft half sob, Aht ..]
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Stooooooooop!
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Goddess forgive me .. I'm sorry ..
[She recoils, but only physically as she has no way of pulling back the emotional barrage in her own mind.]
I d-don't know .. I can't ..
[Commentlog]
Stocke, please help me.
[At that name, there's flair of something. Certainly not a normal reaction. Aht's fondness for Stocke is nearly incomparable and she misses him terribly.]
[Commentlog]
Talia is pale, sweat dampening the hair at the back of her neck as she stairs at the strange child before her.
She reaches out a hand toward her, uncertain and guilt ridden and just miserable overall.]
Havens .. are you alright? I .. I'm so sorry ..
[Commentlog]
When he sees her he stops in the middle of the hall. She won't remember him, and he's not exactly to most friendly looking thing in this keep. He has to be careful not to scare her and make things worse.]
Talia...
[Commentlog] T^T Oh, God .. here we go!
She doesn't connect the name to herself, but it's a voice and she looks up. She sucks in a breath at the sight of the creature before her, eyes widening and fear flaring in her mind.
Still there was something there, in the back of her mind, but she couldn't quite grasp at it.
She stumbled back, not understanding the concern that seemed to surround the tall creature. She whimpers softly, unable to stop the sound from slipping past her lips.]
W-what do you want? [She fumbles around, eyes searching the hall for anything to defend herself with, but there is nothing along their empty walls. Hazel eyes, misty and filled with tears from a combination of pain and just being overwhelmed, land on him again.]
P-please .. D-don't .. [She grimaces, not daring to look away from Kevas as her head hammers painfully enough that she's almost sick.]
[Commentlog] ;w;
All I be wantin' to do be help joo. [To prove his point he unbuckles his sword belt and tosses it aside.]
Please calm down. I ain't be wantin' joo to get her.
[He takes no step closer but he hopes that through their bond she can tell he's not lying to her and that he loves her. That is if nothing happened to it when she was killed.]
[Commentlog]
His emotions flood through her mind and she freezes, eyes widening and breath catching in her throat. Oh, the bond is still there, Kevas. She doesn't understand it, yet, but it's there and yours are the strongest emotions she's picked up so far at the Keep.
She swallows convulsively and though she doesn't understand what's happened or who he is, she trusts him implicitly. Tears slide down her cheeks as he tosses his sword to the side of the hall. She hiccups a soft sob, falling back against the wall and leaning against it heavily.]
I d-don't .. u-understand .. [Her words are broken as an earnest sob catches in her throat. She could feel that he knew her and that he loved her, but she was so confused. Who was he .. what was happening..
She begins to sink to the ground, desolation and confusion at the forefront of her own emotions.]
What's happening .. I d-don't .. So m-many .. everywhere .. they're everywhere. I c-can't ..
[She's on the floor, leaning against the wall, and pulls her legs into her chest. She hides her face in her arms, trying to make herself smaller .. Maybe if she's smaller it won't hurt so much. Maybe ..]
[Commentlog]
Slowly he approaches Talia, kneeling down in front of her. Only twice since he's known has he ever seen her look this broken. If he could take all that pain away from her he would. It's not fair that she has to bear it alone. Gently he puts his arms around her and holds her, like he's trying to shield her from the keep. When he speaks it's in a whisper.]
I know joo don't, but just know dat I be a mon dat be lovin' joo very much and I be wantin' to help.
[He tucks her head under his chin.]
Just try to take control. I know joo can do it.
[Commentlog]
Sobs shake her form and she's trembling when Kevas gathers her gently into his arms. She hears his soft words as his arms and emotions surrounds her and she chokes, tears dampening the front of his shirt. Her desolation only increases, even though she knows that henis trying to help, because his words speak only truth but she can't remember how to do the things he's telling her.
She leans in against Kevas, a stranger and yet not at all, and sobs brokenly.]
H-how?! I d-don't know h-how .. W-why do I .. hear them?? Why?!
[Who was she? Why was this happening?]
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Joo be an empath but, I ain't be knowin' how joo control it.
[He hates having to tell her that. She's looking to him for answers that he just give her.]
But we'll figuah it out, and I'll be right by joor side fuh every moment.
[At least he can do that for her, and maybe if he's around he can drown out everything else she's feeling from the keep.]
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That's important.. I know that's important ..
[She exhales brokenly, head hurting worse than anything she can possibly remember. She can't think upon that right now, however, as Kevas' own concern and love is pretty much drowning out even her own thoughts. It's welcome, however, because things are sill noisy, but it's mostly noise from a single source with the rest just a dull roar in the background.
She lifts tear streaked eyes and studies the foreign face before her, searching it for answers beyond her own grasp.]
I'm important to you .. I can .. I can feel that I am .. [Hazel eyes rise to meet and hold red.] Who am I? Why can't I remember??
[Commentlog]
Joo were hurt and joo lost joor memuhry. Joor name be Talia, and I be Kevas.
[He strokes her hair, trying to get her to calm down. With all the emotions that must be running through her head, he doubts it will do much for her but he can at least try. If nothing else maybe his own emotions will be enough to give her some kind of security blanket.]
Aye, joo be very dear to me. Dat be why I be here to help as much as I can. [He smiles and gently wipes the tears from her eyes.] Joo'll remembuh everytin' in time, and until den I promise I'll be right here fuh jah.
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Kevas .. There is something familiar about your name .. at the edge ..
[There was relief on her face as she said this because it added to what he told her. He strokes her hair, the motion in itself gentle and comforting. He was calm, his thoughts a gentle wave to the lashing of the others around her. She offers him a tremulous smile, relief and thanks coming to the fore of her own mind.
At his promise to remain with her she sighs in relief.]
Thank you, Kevas.
[For staying with her. For dimming the roar in her mind. For everything.]
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Joo don't have to t'ank me. I'll always be here fuh joo.
[After sitting there for a few moments more Kevas looks down at her.]
Do joo t'ink joo can stand?
[He knows she's in pain, but he can't just let her sit here in the middle of the hallway. She needs a place where she can rest, most likely his room. There he can watch her and help her when she needs it.]
[Commentlog]
Several had stopped and spoken with her while she made her way down the halls and it was apparent that this 'ability' she had, this empathy was just a pain for pretty much everyone. It had hurt several she'd stumbled on and she didn't know if her own head had ever hurt as badly as it was right now. How could something like that even be considered helpful?
She lets Kevas' thoughts surround and blanket her own, not knowing how he's doing so or even how she is. Her inability to control the empathy is a huge pain.
She is silent for a beat when he asks if she can manage to stand and it's his concern that has her nodding, even if she's unsure if she can.]
Yes .. I think I can ..
[She slowly unwinds herself from him and begins the process of regaining her feet. She wonders if she's always the unsteady or if it's just this circumstance. It takes a good while longer than it should, but she's up on her feet in the end, though she's still leaning heavily against the wall. She doesn't need to say that her head hurts terribly; it's written all over her face and mind.]
[Commentlog]
She may hate her gifts now, but he knows they've done good for people in the past. He knows because he's one of them. She healed him and made him a better mon. That's just the kind of woman she is and just one of the reason he fell in love with her.
When she stands he smiles, but it's obvious she's having trouble with it. Part of him just wants to lift her into his arms and carry her. Instead Kevas just puts an arm around her waist to give her some support.]
Come on, we'll go to my room. Dere joo can rest until dis be all ovah.
[There he can help her until she finally manages to get a reign on her abilities. Though he's not entirely sure how he'll do it. Talia may have told him about her powers but without actually knowing how to use them himself he's got no advice to give her.]
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By the time Sollux rounds the corner and comes face to face with Talia, though, his own emotions should be clearer than the chaotic mess (the mess is STRONGER, and partly obscuring Sollux's own emotions, but his are much less vague and jumbled). Some depression, lots of pain, and lots of anger.*
...oh fuck me.
*Sollux stops short as he notices Talia. It may be apparent that a good portion of that rage is directed towards her. And he seems to be connecting at least some of the pain to her as well.*
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Something is coming closer, the emotional weight like a physical hammer between the eyes. Talia clenches her eyes closed, trying to calm her breathing and failing each time.]
S-stop, p-please .. please ..
[There is so much anger and fear, almost coiling around one another and a soft whimper slips past her lips. Pain. So much pain. She reels, unsteady on her feet behind it, her own emotions responding in kind. She is horrified and fearful, unable to think what could possibly cause such or where ti could be coming from.
Then Sollux rounds the corner and the proximity is what causes her to open those pain filled eyes. Her gaze falls on the troll just as he speaks and she doesn't start as much as she might have, having seen Aht a short time ago.
Sadness and anger surround the small figure and overwhelm the Herald. That he is personally angry toward her is not missed, although the reason is entirely lost on her. She just wants to get away from him, his mind a blur of emotions to the point that he feels like many people at the same time.]
W-what are you ..??
[She's not asking about your species, Sollux .. This is a far heavier question than that.]
H-how ..?
[Does she mean how can he handle it? Does she mean why does he feel like so many? Maybe she means both ..]
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His brow furrows, some of his anger shifting towards confusion, some towards self pity and a very small amount into concern towards her.
Most of it stays anger, though.*
You can hear it can't you? Or whatever you do.
*He sighs, this was going to end up really annoying down the line, wasn't it? Just what he fucking needed. She'd better not try to offer to help him again.*
I'm a mutant.
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I hear .. s-something .. [What it was, she couldn't be certain, but it was there. Beneath the surface of Sollux's emotions was something far bigger than the troll had ever told.] Like f-far too much for one mind to feel.
[She's falls silent, feeling as he mentally kicked himself, even if she couldn't quite describe that emotion. He was clearly not thrilled, though.. It was doubtful that she would offer to help, even after recovering, as that anger was most prevalent and intimidating. Still ..]
You shouldn't .. There's so much weight .. [By the stars, her head hurt .. His mind was so full and if it was painful to her, henlikely suffered its weight all the time.] Have you always been as thus?
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She didn't really deserve an explanation, but maybe giving her a small one would keep her from hunting him down for more once she remembered who he was.*
Those are the screams of the imminently deceased, even if they're obscured by this fucking keep. I've always heard them, I always will, and its why I'd prefer if you stay the fuck out of my head.
*The anger spikes some with that last sentence as he dwells on the trouble said voices have caused him. And as it spikes Talia might just notice the red and blue energy sparking above his head (like on the first icon 8D). He's not planning to do anything with it, it just happens when he gets worked up.
He hmphs and makes an effort to calm himself, at least outwardly, and the energy fades as he does. He's still pissed, and very much on edge, but is trying to hold it in check. Except it seems like he'd explode if jostled wrong.*
Don't fucking worry about what I should or shouldn't or, hell, anything about me. Just go find your coddamned matesprit and hide somewhere far away from the rest of us until you remember how to stop fucking screaming.
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Her brows knit in both a combination of pain and reaction as he tells her about the voices. Then she begins to feel small and terribly guilty as he snaps about her being in his head. He gets mad as he says such and her yes flit momentarily to the sparks of blue and red over his head before they vanish again.]
I'm sorry .. I mean you no ill will and it is apparent that I have done you a wrong even before this. I .. I am sorry.
[And in possibly one of her smartest moves regarding Sollux, she makes absolutely no offer of aide, nor does she even bring up the voices in his head again. True, she wouldn't know how to help right now anyway, but in this innocent and blank moment, she knew that he didn't want any help, and not just from her. Perhaps that was the self pity he'd wrapped himself in and perhaps it was far more what he hadn't told her, but he wasn't ready for help and she'd not press where she wasn't wanted.
She looks away as he tells her to stop screaming, understanding that he means her mind, but at a complete loss for the time being.]
I'm sorry .. [My, but she was saying that a lot today. If anything it makes her feel all the more guilty and worthless in help current situation.] I'll go .. [She doesn't know where to, but there has to be someplace she can go to hide. Someplace she can go that she won't hurt anyone else .. She doesn't know if Sollux is picking up on her intent, but it's pretty much at the fore of her thoughts just now.]
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You aren't sorry. You might think you are now but when you remember you'll know better.
*He is absolutely convinced of this, and his bitterness at it--and at what she did to Isabella--could possibly be sensed even if she had her shields up. Isa meant very much to him and Talia had hurt her, Sollux might have been able to ignore the discomfort Talia caused him, but no one fucked with his moirail and got away with it.
Except Talia got away with it, because doing anything here meant facing retaliation from the lord of the keep and her mate. Something Sollux wasn't prepared to deal with at this time.
As for offers to help...he truly believes there's no help for him. This is something he's stuck with, and it seems not even death can change that. There's no way some meddling human, or anything else, could do anything about it.
He sighs and shakes his head at how strongly she wants to stop hurting people. As far as she's concerned until she can do something about it it doesn't matter how she feels.*
Go to one of the far corners of the keep then, past the lake or near the forest, then maybe you'll be far enough away from the rest of us to do some damned good.
*He hmphs again and turns to leave, he can find another path to his destination than past her. And he has no reason to fear turning his back on her would leave an opening; she's clearly in no state to attack. But still the line of thought that turning his back on an enemy may not be wise is still there.*
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She has no words.
She gets all of that in spades, but it's that final stab in the back' lack of trust that really stabs it all home. Boy did she regret whatever the hell it was she'd done to him. Her reply is muted and the only thing Sollux might pick up from her is dismay and confusion before he's out of sight.]
I .. I will ..
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Talia's the only one in sight.]
Lady, what the hell do ya think you're doing!?
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She swallows conulsively, by this point knowing she is the cause of much grief and pain, but at a complete loss. Guilt and helplessness flare to life from her end, projecting outward while she is helpless to do anything about it.]
I'm sorry .. I can't stop it .. I can't stop it.. [She looks piteous standing in the hall, shivering and unable to stop whatever it is she's doing.] I don't know how .. I don't ..
[Can you feel how terrible she feels about this, Tetsu? SO BAD!! D:]
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He narrows his eyes, baring his rather sharp tiger like teeth, and growls.]
Then try, dammit! You're killin' me!
[His hands tighten their grip on his temples and ears as the wave of emotion sweeps from her to him.
It hurts.]
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Her eyes widen as everything just kind of .. stops .. She doesn't know how it happened, or how long it will last .. but for now, there is silence and it's WONDERFUL. Tetsu should notice the difference just as quickly..]
Oh ..
[She physically reels as the weight of it is suddenly gone, but the headache remains, nearly blinding her as it hammers within her temples. She would be feeling the after effects of no shielding for the next few days. She lifts a hand to her head and groans, screwing her eyes tightly shut.]
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Then suddenly it stops, leaving behind a headache and one irritated Totetsu.
Gingerly, he removes his hands from the side of his head and turns his attention to Talia.]
What the heck was that!?
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When the bond shuts down and Tetsu snaps at her, she can hardly blame him.]
I'm .. I'm sorry .. I don't know .. I just w-woke here .. I don't know why I hear everyone .. everyone .. I don't know what's going on ..
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Hearin'? Ya nearly split my head open!
Join the club why don't ya. You've been kidnapped by some Lord What's-His-Name, just like everybody else in this damn place.
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[One of these days, Ironhide will learn better than to stomp up behind people who aren't facing him. Or else announce his presence, unless he wants to scare people.]
[He found her in some random hallway, and is watching her, arms folded, his head canted to one side. The old 'bot is about as sensitive as his name implies, and currently, has little on his mind except the sense of accomplishment at finding the missing person.]
[... Ironhide is also not one for emotions, unless it's certain circumstances.]
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I can't hear you .. [She had the briefest moment of wanting to scream and bolt, but she did neither; in fact, his words earn him a relieved half sob.] You're not in my head .. [Then she focuses in what he'd said, searching his alien features without any idea of what's goin through it.] You know me?
[She stares at him, feeling and looking terribly smaller than the strong empath she had become.]
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[He snorts. Why would he be in some human's head? That's just silly. He doesn't understand what she means, but the fact she doesn't recognize him doesn't bode well, considering what he knows now.]
I am in my head. And I will stay there.
[And there's some of Ironhide's usual, rock-solid confidence. He tilts his head a little.]
Yeah. From the Elegante.
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'Hide, she might just hang around you all the time if her shields ever fail. Her smile is weak as his retort, her own words softly, but earnest.]
It's a good place to be .. you'd not want the weight of many. I don't want the weight of many ..
[Sweet Havens, she didn't know how she'd face this every day.
Then there is a beat where she's looking at the tall, unfamiliar figure, her expression clearly blank. Can you tell she has no idea what you're talking about, Ironhide? This might seem a bit familiar .. hadn't Talia herself told you about death bringing a temporary memory loss?]
What .. what is that?
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[No, really, he has no idea what that means. Has she lost her mind?]
[He crouches slightly, peering at her. His good optic narrows.]
The Elegante. The ship.
You forget?
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Why else would some know her and she have no memory of them? What had happened?
He crouches and peers at her and for her part she doesn't flinch aside. She simply looks at him in open confusion, shaking her head.]
I .. I must ..
[Her brows knit, but she shakes her head, gaze lifting once more to Ironhide's.]
I'm sorry .. I don't remember ..
oh way to click post too early, self.
[Okay, neither option is a good one.]
[He grunts, and straightens up. Even if she doesn't remember, he does. And he knows who's been looking for this female.]
C'mon then. Follow me.
HI WANNA HELP ME MAKE ACTIVITY? :D?
On second thought, scratch that rest assured part.
You see, there is years of regret stored up in this man. Years of pain and anger. Talia can probably feel the weight of it. Auron certainly does, though it never seems to show on his face. He is rock solid and prefers to keep it that way. And then there is relief, buried under the weight of everything else, but it's there and it's light. He must've spotted you, Talia, because here he comes.]
Kevas is looking for you.
[He's never actually met you, personally. But well, he said he'd help and he's a man of his word if nothing else.]
Let's do this!!
Who? I don't .. I don't know who that is ..
[Nothing about her posture, tone or otherwise shows that she is being anything but genuine. Who is that and who are you?]
:Db
Though when she gets her memory back she should totally feel free o poke at that...love feeling he's got in there.]You two are close.
[Which is all she's really going to get out of him. Kevas will fill in whatever she needs to know.]
:D
She could do that. She could totes do that.Her brows furrow at his reply, feeling like there's more to it then that, but not knowing why there would be. She studies the man for a moment, brows still drawn together.]
And you .. ? Do I know you?
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[it's not his place to say anymore than that.]
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Do you know what happened to me? How I've come here?