Talia, The Queen's Own (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thequeensown) wrote2010-11-13 01:29 pm
thequeensown) wrote2010-11-13 01:29 pm
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[Audio]
[Talia had been a whirl of emotions since she and Kevas had admitted their feelings for one another. She loved him and there was absolutely no denying that fact, but the guilt over falling for anyone so quickly after the loss of her home and hearth; the love of her life and soulbonds. Was this right? Was she supposed to do this?
She kept all of this under the tightest of shields, but there was one that had picked up on it and had offered to speak to her and she wished to speak to him. She was confused, but as confused as she was she desperately refused to give up wheat she had found, as unlikely a place as this boat was to have found it.
She stares at her communicator for several minutes before steadying herself enough to talk, her shields clamped down as tightly as she can manage. When she speaks, her voice is steady and sounds pleasantly normal. It was a shame that the one person she was reaching for would undoubtedly see right through this.]
Van .. could I meet you somewhere? I would very much like to speak with you ..
She kept all of this under the tightest of shields, but there was one that had picked up on it and had offered to speak to her and she wished to speak to him. She was confused, but as confused as she was she desperately refused to give up wheat she had found, as unlikely a place as this boat was to have found it.
She stares at her communicator for several minutes before steadying herself enough to talk, her shields clamped down as tightly as she can manage. When she speaks, her voice is steady and sounds pleasantly normal. It was a shame that the one person she was reaching for would undoubtedly see right through this.]
Van .. could I meet you somewhere? I would very much like to speak with you ..
[Commentlog]
As he releases her, she steps to the side, instinctively rubbing the place the cold steel was resting against a moment before. She wasn't afraid she'd find blood, but whether if was a practice session or not, it was always eye opening to suffer a 'death'. Made one that much sharper for the next run-through.
Her sword tip lowered, she considers his words. Was it as simple as that? She couldn't help but think that Dirk would feel that way himself .. she knew well that Skif would throttle her for beating herself up this much. Oh, Haven.. She swallows, fighting stance relaxing as she looks to him.]
I can't say that I won't miss Dirk .. [She swallows around the knot in her throat, stomach tightening.] Or that I'll ever be completely over the loss of him .. [Silence and then a glance, shields tightly in place.] That's not wrong is it? To mourn him while I'm with another ..?
[Commentlog]
Stefen is dead.
[It still hurts, to admit it, like a fist in his chest, squeezing]
But I know he'd approve. He would want me to be happy, and not begrudge me whatever love I could bear.
[Knowing Stef, if he were here, he might be just as happy to invite Remy to join the both of them and make a triad of it, the raunchy bardic poppinjay. Vanyel doesn't mention Tylendel. He won't, unless forced to it.]
I wish dearly that I could pretend to you that it would one day stop hurting, Talia.
[Commentlog]
She'd not bring up Tylendel. She knew enough of the Vanyel's history, through the aide of ancient tomes and bardic song to have it puzzled together. His grief was real, though, and no story book to fawn over and she would not belittle that pain or press him fr information he was not willing or ready to share.]
I'm sorry, Van ..
[It's an apology that voices so very much: that she's brought up this pain so fresh to him again. Sorry that she can do nothing to undo the wrongs that were done to either of them. Sorry that she came to him for solace. She gestures weakly with her free hand, knowing well the pain that is so similar to a physical impact.
At the last she closes her eyes tightly against the familiar burn that threatens behind her lids. She exhales shakily, nodding once. She knew she could not hope for any sort of instant fix .. and she knew that she could not will away the grief any faster than it would fade on it's own; and when it faded, that there was no promise that it would ever go away.
So, why then had she bothered Van with this? Had she only succeeded in making him desolate?
A thought comes to her as she studies the Herald before her, a timid brush across his mind with her own to gain his attention. She swallows tightly and when she speaks, her voice is soft.] I do not know if you are aware, Van .. He was a Master Bard .. Quite possibly the best that Valdemar had ever seen. Bardic was still singing his songs .. they were still writing songs about him..
[Commentlog]
Stefan was celebrated. A hero on his own feet, and one thing Bards that gain that kind of acclaim do not tend to do is die young. It takes time to write master-works, to pen and play them, to spread them across the land. Van smiles, listening to her speak, a smile he's never quite given Talia before, low and soft and wistful, like remembering with loving fondness the last time he'd been happy.
Eventually;]
Thank you, Talia.
[Commentlog]
It's that moment where no words are needed to convey the emotional load between them. She understands what it means for him to know, and that it meant that much is more than enough to have given him that bit of relief.]
[Commentlog]
[She deserves to be happy, to have what little joy they can have. It's a valid question, given the situation, and her Gift.]
Are you sure of him, and his own feelings towards you?
[Commentlog] Awww, it's like he's gonna be sittin' there, celaning his rifle!
I do not doubt his feelings, nor his intentions .. I .. I am sure, yes .. of both of us.
[Commentlog] lol!
[Commentlog]
Oh, hardly, Vanyel! We've both of us come from different times and events. I'd never claim myself stronger than you with even the hint of your own past.