thequeensown | 15th Sending [Audio] Backdated to the 15th

Entry tags:

15th Sending [Audio] Backdated to the 15th

[Talia knew full well what her husband was going through and was experiencing his emotions, plus her own guilt, in spades after things had gone horribly wrong in the span of just a few seconds. She was pretty much sick about it, actually, but there was no undoing what ~~had been~~ she had done; she could only pick up the pieces and try to repair things.

Her shields are locked down as tightly as she can make them, as is the entry itself after her initial post.]

I am glad that things seem to be at rights once more; as right as they ever are. All are well, I trust? No lasting effects?

[Sealed to Logan]

I... [Her voice catches briefly and she exhales slowly before starting again.] I cannot begin to apologize, Logan...

[Sealed to Kevas]
Beloved... will you meet with me?

[She is worried most of all about how this will go. Now that her mind and heart were her own again she was all to aware of the damage done and the pain inflicted, even if not malevolently.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

I'd appreciate that very much. Where?

[Unlike Talia, he has no shield of any kind to truly hide his emotions, but until he gets an idea of where this is getting he'll be keeping a very tight reign on them.]

[She closes her eyes and thanks the havens that he responds.]

Anywhere... I just want to see you and to talk to you.

My room.

[For now he keeps things simple and to the point. He doesn't even want to begin this discussion over the journals.]

[Talia does not bother to respond over the journal, closing it and already moving as soon as Kevas tells her where he'd like to meet her. She reaches and stands outside his room for a beat, knuckles hesitating over the door.

Finally she knocks lightly, knowing he'd hear it as well as a solid knock.]

Kevas?

[The door swings open and the smell of alcohol should be obvious. Before he would feel bad about it, and he may still feel bad about falling off the wagon later, but right now he just does not care. Alcohol is the only thing keeping him from completely losing it right now.

Despite this, he appears relatively calm. In fact his face appears to be completely impassive. He nods his head and steps out of the way to let her inside, not saying a word to her.

That doesn't mean he doesn't want to however. There are several things the troll wants to say right now, but he just doesn't know where to start.]

[The door swings open and indeed the first thing to hit Talia like a physical slap in the face is the onslaught of alcohol smell filling not just the room, but the figure standing before her.

But after the events that transpired yesterday, she can hardly fault her husband for resorting to alcohol.

Worse still is the absolute lack of anything warm or emotive on his face. She meets his gaze, flinching internally because she knows full well that she is at fault in this; even if there was ultimately more to do with it than that.

She steps in at his nod, chafing her hand up and down her arm as she does so. The tension is palpable and she closes her eyes to collect some form of strength.]

Kevas...

[She turns then and looks at him as he closes the door.]

I'm sorry... I know how small that is beneath the weight of it, but I am so, so sorry.

[He leans against the wall, keeping a distance from her. Now that she's here keeping his emotions locked down is proving more difficult than he originally hoped. He still feels betrayed, and even angry, but apart of him wants to just forgive her and forget this ever happened. The only reason he doesn't is because he knows it will solve nothing in the long run.

So instead he just takes a breath and collects his thoughts.]

Joo know, I keep lookin' fuh someone to blame fuh all dis wheddah it be Logan, or dis fuckin' keep...or joo.

[He pauses for some time.]

But da reason I even told joo to come here be cuz I at least want to try and fix dis.

[Kevas loves her. He would be lying to himself if he said he didn't anymore because of this, but he needs to know that she feels the same. That this is some stupid keep spell forcing her to feel the way she did and not just forcing feelings already there to the forefront.]

S'all right. Wasn't your fault.

You feelin' better?

[Or as 'better' as you can get around this shithole.]

Edited 2012-02-18 23:31 (UTC)

[Talia laughs, but it's not altogether a happy sound.]

No. No, not in the slightest... [She runs her hands over her face, even if it's not visible over the audio feed.]

Blood and bloody ashes, what a mess. Yes, better in the sense that I'm no longer feeling compelled to chase you about the Keep. Not in the sense that I have to speak with my husband...

[Talia doesn't need her empathy to read body language and Kevas' body language is practically screaming in the near silent room. She knows how he feels, but add to that the large amount of disgust and disappointment in herself and you'd be even closer to her own mindset.

She sits on the edge of his bed as he begins to speak, raising her eyes to search his. There is no avoiding the flinching in response to his words, even if she'd expected the blame; it still stung.

It's the last that makes her close her eyes and exhale sharply, swallowing back the tears even as they threaten. She collects herself and looks at him again.]

Kevas... hurting you is the last thing I would ever want to do. I adore you... you are my soul mate and there is no one that I wish to be with but you.

[She searches his face, her own expression earnest and scared.]

If I didn't want to be with you, then I wouldn't be... I don't believe in dragging something out if it is not mutual.

[She swallows and exhales slowly.]

Logan is a friend, but I never... I never wanted something like that to happen. Haven help me, he tried to keep me away, so don't blame him for this.

[The first tears begin to spill over, despite how much she's fighting to keep them back. Tears won't help at all. She finally lowers her shields, but keeps the onslaught back, because she HAS to let him see that she's genuine; that she's not just telling him what he wants to hear.]

You're my world, Kevas. I am so, so sorry... but I would never do this to you deliberately. I love you.

[And now her very real worry is that she's ruined it all; that this damn Keep has taken the one thing she had left from her.]

[Kevas remains silent as she speaks, listening to every word that she tells and, though he hates that he's doing it, looking for any sort of tell that she might not be telling him everything.

The troll is very unused to this situation. Only once has he ever gotten this far with another person and...well it ended in a rather horrifying manner because of him. As bad as it is, he's used to be the betrayer, not the one that was betrayed.

It's really not until he sees the tears begin to fall down her face that he realizes his fears are completely unfounded and nothing but his own paranoia eating away at him. When he feels her lower her shields and feels her emotions spilling through, it's the clincher.

She loves him, just like he loves her and he's a fool for ever thinking otherwise.]

I be sorry...

[No doubt this has already made a hard situation harder on her.

He crosses to his bed, sitting beside her. Carefully wiping the tears from her face, Kevas holds her in his arms.]

I love joo. Talia I love joo more den everytin'.

[If circumstances were different, if Logan wasn't completely smitten with Mimmi, this conversation would probably be going in a whole different direction. But as it is, joking is set aside. For now.]

It'll be fine.

[It better be fine. Or Logan will punch Kevas into puter spae.]

Oh. And thanks. For the Victor thing.

[Seeing Logan's end unsealed gives Talia a moment of pause before she exhales and leaves her next reply unsealed. She wasn't hiding anything, after all, and sealing would just complicate things if questions were raised later.

As to other circumstances... if they were different, then she might not be with Kevas and she might not be having a near emotional breakdown over all of this. BUT IT CAN'T BE THAT EASY, CAN IT?? 8D

She exhales and nods to herself, since Logan can't see her.]

I think it will...

[Trying to stay positive, but she won't dissuade punching techniques if Kevas doesn't listen to reason. (Good thing he did!)

She is silent for a moment and then.]

You're welcome... if you wish to see if there is more, my door is always open to you.

[As unused to this sort of situation as Kevas is, Talia is just as poorly suited. Certainly she has helped her fair share of people through things like this, but to be going through it herself is a whole different matter. It's one thing to be able to distance yourself when it's someone else, but she is not being afforded the luxury of simply offering advice this time; this time it's her own life that is in need of mending.

She can't know what her husband will do now, even if she hopes that he will see the truth in her words and feel it through their bond. She will not push his emotions in attempt to sway his thoughts; to do so would be betraying everything they'd formed over the years. Goddess above... years.

She hitches softly as he apologizes, looking down at the floor of his room. Whether her trembling is due to strain and nerves, or a direct connection to her sobs, it really doesn't matter.

When he sits next to her on the bed, she raises her gaze to look at him through her tears. She leans heavily into his embrace, heartsick and nauseous overall in reaction to everything.]

D-don't apologize... you were reacting in a perfectly normal manner. You didn't know what to think and... goddess... [She lifts her hands and buries her face in them, leaning and nearly doubled over. Her words are muffled behind hands and tears, but still audible.]

I l-love you, Kevas. I'm sorry... goddess forgive me, I am so sorry.

[Kevas continues to hold her tightly in his arms, hoping to give her some kind of physical comfort. He lifts his hand, running it gently through her hair. She's gone through just as much, if not more, than he has from this whole ordeal.

Quietly, he mentally and violently berates himself. It's because of him she's crying right now. He should have just forgiven her without hesitation. How could he even think for a second that she actually loved Logan? After what they've been through, what they've shared together, Talia is the only ladymon in the multiverse that is meant for him. Damn stupid troll. That's all he is, a damn stupid troll.]

No, I be havin' a lot to apologize fuh. Fuh a second, I t'ought dat joo actually betrayed me. Dat joo loved dat mon more den me, and I be god damn fool fuh even t'inkin' it. Should have trusted joo, like I've always trusted joo. Now I be makin' everytin' worse be puttin' joo t'roo dis. By da Loa, I be sorry Talia.

[For possibly the first time since he's known her, she looks fragile to him. Despite the way he towers over her he's never thought of her as such. Now though, she looks like she could break any moment.

He holds her to his chest, letting her feel as it rises and falls with his breathing hoping that too might relax her. Kevas won't be letting her go anytime soon after this.]

Dere be no reason to ask. Joo be my mate, my wife, and even more den dat. Fuh bettah of fuh worse, I will always love joo.

[Tilting her head up with his finger, he presses his lips to hers. It's not nearly as fierce as many of their kisses have been, but it's no less passionate. He doesn't just want to tell her still loves her, he wants to show it.]

Thanks. Maybe I will one day.

[Not now. Let things settle down first. Besides, Logan's a little worried about what else might be lurking up there. Some of the stuff he's managed to remember isn't the greatest.

And whoever this Stryker guy is, Logan's gonna choke him.]

[She gives a half nod, even if unseen.]

Of course...

[A beat and when she speaks next, she sounds mostly like herself again.]

Thank you, Logan.

[Talia holds tightly to him, face buried into his chest as his fingers comb through her hair. She hitches a breath and looks up at him as he speaks, his words stinging in their honesty.

However, his apology and the truth behind it, follows immediately and his sorrow is real. She could feel that even without the bond, just in the weight of his words.

When he tells her that she doesn't need to ask for forgiveness, a tension leaves her shoulders and relief flows through her. She sags in against him and when he raises her gaze to him again and meets her lips, she meets them readily, one hand raising to cup the back of his head.

Only after several moments does the kiss break, her hands now cupping his cheeks as she meets his gaze steadily.]

I adore you, Kevas. You are the light of my life and the other half of my heart and soul. I would never do anything to harm you if it is within my power to avoid it.

[Kevas can almost feel the tension leave her body as he reassures her. In fact, he sort of can thanks to the bond between them. This whole holiday was an utter mess and he'll be happy if they never have to go through it again.

After their kiss he leans into her touch, thankful the tables haven't turned on him. The more he thinks about it the more he realizes that he's more at fault than she ever will be. She was forced to the keep to feel the way she did. Kevas, on the other hand, just panicked and lashed out.]

And I joo Talia. Joo've given me reason to move when I had none left and made me whole when I was just a shell of a t'ing. I should have none bettah. I should have trusted joo more.

[He holds her to him, unwilling to let her go. After all this, he just wants to be her, and only her. Just to have time where it's only them and nothing more.]

[There is something to be said about making up with a loved one after a terrible misunderstanding, let alone after a fight; luckily there hadn't really been any of those in their time together, but this had been bad enough. (we should totally get them in a fight-fight over something at some point, zomg)

She offers him a soft smile, still cupping his cheeks, as he speaks softly to her.]

It's past, beloved... let us not linger on it, mm? This place has a way of trying us and bringing us to our knees, but we will persevere.

[She just leans into him, taking every bit of solace in his arms.]

[This is definitely an incident that Kevas wants no repeat of. You can bet that he'll not be touching anything the next time that Valentine's Day rolls around. (They really should.)

He smiles back at her, finally being able to relax himself.]

I can get behind dat idea. After dat boat, I ain't be sure dere be anytin' out dere dat can bring us down fuhevah.

[And he'll gladly hold her, happy to see that this mess is at an end.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

15th Sending [Audio] Backdated to the 15th

[Sealed]

[Sealed]

[Sealed]

[Sealed - Commentlog]

[Commentlog]

All the awkward terribles are in this post. ;3;

So many feels ;A;

no subject

sealed to Logan for evs

All of them, really. ;A;

no subject

Logan doesn't know how to seal 8(

OH WELL! AHAH

/cues up some music appropriate to melodrama theatre

hold onto your hankies people

no subject

no subject

I'M SO SORRY! I didn't game for, like, a week! ;3;

No worries! It's all cool to me <3

<33333

no subject